Not A Consolation Prize
by Sunshine and Chocolate
Summary: None of what they had done helped them any. Their marriage was still crumbling down around them and maybe it was time to face facts. They were over unless one of them did something to stop it.
1. Chapter 1

Not A Consolation Prize

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Addison and Derek

Spoilers: 2x18

Summary:None of what they had done helped them any. Their marriage was still crumbling down around them and maybe it was time to face facts. They were over unless one of them did something to stop it.

Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy.

* * *

The day had been absolutely terrible. A horrible day. It sucked. There were bad days, crappy days, terrible days, and then days like this one. It basically blew. There was not one good thing about this day. Not one.

Mark had arrived in Seattle today.

Mark.

_Mark_.

The last person on this planet he would ever want to see in his entire life. The one person he would do anything to have to never deal with ever again. The supposed best friend of his. He never wanted to have to see that man's face or hear his voice again.

Never again.

He honestly hated Mark's existence and the fact that he was arrogant enough to show up here after all that had happened.

Derek breathed out a frustrated sigh and ran a hand through his thick, unruly hair. He was lying in his bed with a medical journal on his lap. He had given up reading about the latest breakthrough in neurosurgery about an hour and a half ago.

Mark was supposed to be his best friend. Best friend was something Mark could just not fathom, apparently. Nope, that was way outside of Mark's atmosphere. Totally incapable of anything friendly at all.

How could Mark have done this to him? What was the reason? What was the explanation?

Did he want to know if there was one? And if there was, did he want to know what it was? What the answer was to that heartbreaking question? That terrifying question. Did he need the answer to it?

Derek blew out another frustrated sigh and glanced toward the window.

He honestly did not know if he was ready for that. For that conversation which more than likely would end up being a _confrontation_ between two former friends. But then again, given what Mark did was he ever a friend?

He had thought, yes but maybe he was wrong. He felt like the more time went on the only place he wasn't wrong was inside the operating room.

Everywhere else, he was wrong and he second-guessed himself like he had never before in his life. Every decision he made he questioned.

Was it right? Was it wrong? Would he regret it later? Would it make him happy? Would it make others happy? Did any of it even matter?

And all of those thoughts came back to one woman, Addison.

Addison Forbes Montgomery Shepherd.

His wife of eleven years and anniversary number twelve was coming up soon. She was the most amazing woman he had ever known other than his mother. From the moment he had seen her, he was mesmerized by her. Everything about her had him in awe of her. He doubted there was anyone in the world as incredible as she was. No one compared to her and he had known that she was the woman he was supposed to be with for the rest of his life.

Derek sat up a little straighter in bed and looked around the room before glancing at the window again. He cracked his knuckles in frustration.

When they had been dating she was his sole focus. Cindy Crawford could have walked by him and he would not have noticed at all because she wasn't Addison.

Addison was his girl. She was his world, his whole damn life. The smell of her hair, the soft feel of her skin underneath his fingers, the sound of his name on her lips. Derek absolutely loved everything about her.

It had been a no-brainer when he made the decision to ask her to be his wife. There was no other choice for him. He would rather spend time with her than doing anything else. He would have even chosen her over any surgery he was asked to be a part of. She was the most important thing.

The day she had agreed to be his wife was one of the best days of his entire life. The only days that could top it were their actually wedding day and any day in the first few years of their marriage. He took comfort in her arms and the feeling he got when she smiled at him.

That beautiful smile. It made his heart skip a beat. She had that affect on him.

Derek pushed the magazine off of his lap and swung his legs over the side of their bed. He stretched arms over his head and ran his hands over his face before letting them fall to the side.

He stood up and looked out the small window of the air stream trailer. His blue eyes tried to search the darkness but saw nothing. He sighed and moved toward the kitchen.

Derek wasn't sure when things in their marriage started to change. It was a gradual thing or was it? It wasn't sudden or was it? He was that unsure of how things had changed or when they had changed. It wasn't that he did not love Addison… he never fell out of love with her.

He never woke up one morning and said to himself that he no longer loved her. That she was no longer the center of his world or that she was no longer the most amazing woman he had known. It wasn't like that but it must have seemed that way to her. It must have seemed to her that he just stopped caring for her as his wife.

He never meant for it to happen that way. He never meant to imply that she wasn't important to him anymore. He never meant to hurt her or to not be there for her.

However, he thought that he had time. The rest of his life. Their life together to have dinner dates and birthday parties. To sit by the fire and watch movies, to wake up and shower together and have a coffee together over their morning paper.

So since he had all of that time, he wanted to focus on his work. He wanted so many things for himself as a surgeon. He wanted to be good at his work. Derek had never wanted to be anything other than a surgeon and he wanted to focus on that. Derek wanted to challenge himself and make his mark on the medical community. All the while he just assumed that Addison would be there with him, wait for him to get that part of his life straightened out.

He kind of assumed that was what the vows meant.

Derek slammed one of the cupboards shut and finished making himself a cup of tea. He stirred the spoon around a couple of times before tossing it in the sink. He ran a hand through his hair again and turned toward the small table.

He sat down and placed the mug in front of him and he watched the steam come off of it and float toward the ceiling. He sent a look out the window again.

Derek never meant to hurt his wife in any way. He never meant to cause her any pain. It was never supposed to be that way and he never meant to say that word today.

_Obligation_.

He had never meant to say that. It wasn't supposed to come out of his mouth like that. But he had been blinded by his anger for Mark that he had lashed out at his wife in the process.

That look on her face was haunting him. It was a look of such shock and heartbreak and pain. It disgusted him that he had put such a look on her beautiful face. But it wasn't like he could take it back now. He had said the word and she had heard it.

Derek sighed again and glanced at the clock on the wall of the trailer. It was pushing eleven at night and he had yet to see his wife.

He was a lot of things, stupid was not one of them. He knew why Mark had come to Seattle and it was not for their friendship or to apologize for his betrayal. Mark had not come for forgiveness or any surgery.

Mark had come to Seattle to take Addison back to New York. He had come to claim her as his own and whisk her away from the rain and hell of Seattle Grace's gossip machine. Mark had come to take her away from the tiny trailer and bad coffee of the hospital.

And Derek was petrified that he may have succeeded.

Because Addison never came home.

* * *

End.

Please Review.


	2. Chapter 2

Not a Consolation Prize

Chapter 2

* * *

Derek woke up the next morning from a restless slumber. Immediately, the panic in his chest returned. He turned a little in bed and was met with empty space. Addison wasn't there.

She never came home.

He had waited for hours.

He had stayed up into the wee hours of the morning. Derek had paced the trailer back and forth the whole night. He had waited for her headlights to cut through the darkness of the woods. He had waited to hear that door open and to see her auburn hair after the hellish day they had both had. Derek had checked his phone to see if he had missed a call. She would have called if she had had to stay at the hospital.

She would have called.

He sighed and pushed the covers off of his body before he swung his legs over the side of the bed as he let his bare feet hit the cool floor. Derek brought a hand up to his eyes and rubbed them roughly trying in vain to wake himself up.

Addison would have called him because she cared about him and their marriage. Yet he never got a call. She never called him and it scared him to think about what that could mean.

He switched on the coffee pot after he had leaned against the counter in the small kitchen of the trailer. Derek's eyes landed on the clock like they had so many times last night. It was really early in the morning. The sun was just starting to come up but all Derek did was stare at the coffee pot as if looking at it would make it brew faster.

Once it was finished he poured the steaming hot liquid into a thermos and placed it on the kitchen table next to his wallet and his keys.

Addison cared about their marriage. She cared about what happened to them. She tried so hard to make the effort. She planned things. Addison planned dates and events, thought of things to do together. She wanted to make sure they tried. Addison wanted to fix what she had broken.

Addison moved to Seattle. She gave up everything she had had in New York. She gave up her practice and her patients that were her life to show him how important he was to her.

Addison gave up her friends and her home and the city she loved to prove to him that he was priority number one.

When Derek opened the tiny closet his eyes went to the side filled with her designer labels. Her expensive blouses that were kept right next to his sweaters made his heartache a little more. A sad smile crossed his face as he tugged on a black shirt and put it on right before he pulled on a pair of dark jeans.

She cared so much for him and their marriage. She spent years putting together everything she had in New York. But when he asked her to leave it behind she had.

He had wanted to stay in Seattle for a lot of reasons but mostly because it was free of any reminders of Mark. Seattle did not remind him of things that hurt him so much he wanted to throw up from the pain. Even now when he merely thought of the memories that city held it brought up so many feelings both good and bad.

Derek cannot imagine what it would be like to try to function on a daily basis while living in that city. So he wanted to stay here in Seattle. Plus, he honestly thought he had a damn good shot at being the next Chief.

So that was the deal. She would give up everything to move out West with him. She made good on her word and he agreed to end things with Meredith.

That had not worked out so well. He had just lied basically. Derek did not give up her. He had barely even tried.

Derek opened a drawer and noticed how nice and neat things were. Addison had arranged the junk drawer. It was the drawer that held the masking tape, the extra key to the door, and his fishing line. He smiled a little more.

Addison hated the trailer. She loathed the trailer and told him everyday. She would blow it up if she could… twice if that was a possibility. She hated that it sat on land he had done nothing with. She hated that you could walk from one end to the other in under twenty steps.

The shower was too small and that fact that it had no tub was frustrating and annoying. The oven was hard to operate. The couch was too stiff to get comfy on. There was not enough space for their stuff and her shoes were scatted everywhere.

He sighed again and looked around the trailer.

She may have hated it but she had made it a home for them. She straightened the spices in the spice rack. She put his sports magazines in bin under the bed to prevent them from getting lost. Addison had stocked the fridge with his favorites. And she had changed the sheets and bought them a warmer comforter. He had complained a few times about how when it rained it got too cold in the trailer and so she bought him the comforter.

Addison had made his sanctuary their home.

This was supposed to be his place away from her. Away from her and from Mark. Derek bought the trailer because he knew she would never consider living in such a place. He had been wrong. Addison chose their marriage and him over her comfort level. She had lived in a trailer to work on their marriage.

Derek finished tying the laces of his boots and straightened his back when he had finished.

Addison was on every part of his life without her. There was no escaping her. She was in the small shower and in the cramped closet. Her scent was on goddamn pillow. She was everywhere.

He stood up. Derek pulled on his leather jacket and stuffed his keys and phone into one of his pockets. He opened his wallets to make sure that he had everything before putting that inside his inner jacket pocket as well.

He looked around one last time and opened the door to the trailer.

Derek Shepherd decided it was about time that Addison wasn't the only person in their marriage who cared.

* * *

End of Chapter 2.

Please Review.


	3. Chapter 3

Not a Consolation Prize

Chapter 3

* * *

Derek sped down the back roads of the small island he called home toward the ferryboat docks. He had waited for it to cross the water and as he did he decided it was way too slow for his liking. He wasted no time getting out of his car and just waited for the boat to reach the other side so that he was totally ready to go. Derek blew through every green, yellow, and red lights he passed until he reached the airport.

When he practically screamed his destination request at the ticket agent he had scared her and his fellow travelers. Derek had paced back and forth in front of the boarding gate as the wait seemed to drag on forever.

Now he was sitting between a young man in his early teens with blaring rap music coming from his headphones and an older woman that reeked of perfume who was chewing on a hard candy.

None of it really mattered.

He was a last minute addition to the flight; he would take whatever he got. Derek was willing to sit next to anyone for a few hours especially since he wasn't really aware of what was going on around him at the moment.

It was damn lucky he had not gotten into an accident on the way here. He probably should have and he would probably have a ticket waiting in the mail for him when he got home but it still did not matter much to him

There was one thing on his mind, Addison.

He was nervous. Derek was sweating bullets as the different scenarios ran through his mind. His palms were sticky and he could not stop thinking about the 'what ifs' and the 'could have beens' of this whole mess.

This was a mess that he had created all on his own. He was the only person to blame for why he was sitting on this plane with her on his mind. This was completely unlike the last time he had crossed country because of her. Now, he was running after her and not away from her. Last time it was hard for him to see how the situation was his fault but he could not do that anymore.

He had lived his life with blinders on. Derek had assumed a lot. He assumed things about his work and his career. He assumed things about his family and friends.

But most of all he assumed things about his marriage.

Derek had assumed that Addison knew he loved her. Only her. Derek thought that she knew he meant to make up for the occasionally missed date and the forgotten birthdays.

He had meant to make those things up to her.

Derek assumed that she knew it wasn't personal. He assumed she knew he never meant to hurt her and that she was always in the back of his mind. Derek thought that she knew he was always thinking about her.

He assumed she could read his thoughts. She acted like she could. It freaked others out how they were so in tune with the other. They were just wrong with out each other. Derek wasn't Derek without Addison and since others seemed to know it he assumed she did too.

He had been so wrong.

The next thing Derek knew a voice was ringing throughout the plane.

"This is your captain speaking, we are currently making our descent into New Yorks' JFK International Airport. The local time is 10:34 AM with slightly cloudy skies. If you are visiting this fine city I hope you enjoy the sites, for the others…welcome home."

Derek sighed. He wasn't really sure which one of those two categories he fit into. He rested his head back against the headrest and thought about his wife some more.

He wished he could go back to a time when things were simpler. A time before he walked up those stairs and saw the most heartbreaking thing ever. He wished he could go back and knock some sense into himself.

Derek wished he could tell himself that he should pay more attention to the little things in his life. And to not worry about the big picture or what was coming on down the line.

He would tell himself to stop and appreciate how uniquely red Addison's hair was and the way it smelled after she showered. The lazy smile she got on her face after a good nights' sleep or the way she chewed on her bottom lip when she got nervous. He would remind himself not to take for granted the way she touched his chin and knew how he took his morning coffee.

Derek would remind himself that he was the luckiest son of a bitch on the planet because he got to go home to her every night and he knew that others would jump at a chance like that.

One person he could name off the top of his head.

Mark Sloan.

Derek sighed and glanced around the cabin.

Sometimes late at night he would let his mind wander. He would wonder about Mark. About what Mark must think of him as a person. His opinion must not be kind to do what Mark did.

It baffled Derek.

What had he done to deserve that from Mark? Was it something he had done? Something he said? Had it been so horrible that he had to exact such a devastating revenge upon him just to even the score? How could he have done something so bad and not recall it?

Or was it something far more terrifying, had they fallen in love? Had his best friend and wife fallen in love right before his eyes and he had not seen it? Did Mark notice the curve of Addison's jaw? Did he know she pinched the bridge of her nose when she was trying not to cry? Did Mark's heart skip a beat at the sound of her laugh?

And if so, what the hell did that mean for Derek?

Derek stood up and moved from his seat behind the young man with the blaring headphones still placed on his ears and they all began to move slowly out of the plane.

It did not matter to Derek why Mark did what he did but if Mark wanted a fight for Addison he would get one.

~x~

Derek felt a mix of emotions sitting in the back of the cab and he wasn't sure what to feel as the familiar words slipped off of his tongue. But just like everything else in his journey the taxicab was way too fucking slow.

The buildings of his old home blurred together as his heart grew heavier with each passing block. It was weird and scary to a point to back in New York. It held so many memories for him, good and bad, hurtful ones that made him close his eyes until the pain subsided.

When the cab pulled up in front of the building he wished he could forget, he took in one long, deep calming breath. He threw some money at the driver and exited the vehicle.

Derek raced through the doors surprised to find the doorman remembered him. Then he raced by the elevators and went straight for the stairs and then ripped open the door to the fourth floor. He turned through the halls and ran to the door he wanted and took only a moment to collect himself before breathing heavily and knocking.

He could hear movement behind the door and waited impatiently for it to open and when it was he was greeted by a very pissed off Mark Sloan. But once again Derek could not care and just went ahead and asked he question.

"Where is my wife?"

* * *

End of Chapter 3.

Please Review.


	4. Chapter 4

Not a Consolation Prize

Chapter 4

* * *

Mark rubbed a hand over one of his eyes roughly. Derek smirked in amusement at the knowledge he had woken him up. He was dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a black t-shirt with an unreadable expression on his face and all the while Mark stood there without answering Derek could feel his impatience grow. The past hours were catching up with him and sending him over the edge.

"Well, Mark?" Derek urged. "Where is Addison?"

A look of annoyance flashed over Mark's face and he stood up straighter, "How the hell should I know?"

Derek blinked. "Is she here?"

Mark shook his head and glanced back at the room and then returned his eyes to Derek.

"No, just little 'ol me."

"What?" Derek asked and something in his stomach tightened. A large part of him did not how he should feel about.

"Addison is not here Derek. Why would you think she is?" Mark replied and slowly a grin appeared on his lips. "She didn't come home last night?"

Derek threw him a nasty look then he pushed past him and into the apartment. Mark lived the typical bachelor life style and his home was proof of it. Very little furniture and no decorations but he had the most amazing entertainment center a person could find.

And as he stepped further into the room Derek was unexpectedly overcome by sadness and a sense of loss.

He could not count how many times he had sat on the couch with a beer in his hand shouting obscenities with Mark at the television for the referee's bogus call on the Sunday game. They played video games like little boys while talking about anything that came across their minds. It could have been as mundane as the weather or as personal as their fears of life; Derek would have talked about it all.

He had never held anything back. And why would he? Mark was his best friend.

Had been for as long as Derek could remember so why should he hesitate for a second to tell Mark something or to trust him with his life? Maybe he was wrong. He wished he had known at the time what Mark was capable of.

"She didn't, did she? Addison did not come home last night and you were afraid she came home with me!" Mark said and shut the door to his apartment behind Derek. He thought he was going to the bedroom to see if he had been telling the truth to make sure his wife wasn't there.

But instead he surprised Mark by making a beeline for the phone that rested on the marble counter top in the kitchen.

Derek picked up the receiver and dialed a number while fishing out his wallet from his pocket and flipping it open in front of him.

"What are you doing?" Mark said and took a seat in front of his former friend on one of the bar stools.

"Hello, I would like to make a reservation for a flight to Seattle, Washington please…" Derek said into the receiver.

"Going home? So soon?" Mark asked with his arms crossed over his chest.

He smirked when Derek glanced at him with anger and an irritated expression on his face but he just continued on with his phone conversation.

It only took him a few moments to book a seat on the next flight to Seattle and then Derek hung up the phone.

"You know if you weren't so preoccupied with your little girlfriend then maybe you would have seen this coming," Mark commented lightly.

"Fuck you." Derek said with pure venom in his voice and turned back toward the door.

Mark stood up from his chair. His expression suddenly serious while his voice was thick with emotion. "Derek—wait. Shouldn't we talk? Give me one chance to talk. Please… just let me explain why—"

Derek turned around and glared at him. "Explain? Okay… you explain to me why a man who claimed he was my friend had the audacity to sleep with my _wife_ in my bed. So go ahead Mark and tell me why?"

And for some odd reason Mark was taken off guard by the question.

He shouldn't have been. It was an obvious question, an inevitable question but maybe it was the way Derek had uttered it. The calmness of his voice was a contradiction of the turbulent emotions in his bright blue eyes as he waited for an answer.

"I…uh—uh…"

Derek scoffed and shook his head. "Yeah, yeah. You do not have an explanation do you? You want my forgiveness and you cannot answer one simple fucking question. I understand why Addison did what she did, I fucking hate what she did but I get _why_ she did it. She can explain to me what she was thinking and why she felt she had no other option but you?"

Derek looked him up and down and stepped closer to him.

The anger was pulsating through his veins and his heart was pounding in his ears and he could almost see red. The rush of anger he should have had standing in the doorway to his bedroom that night, he was having right now.

"You claimed to be my friend. You claimed that I could trust you and you claimed you had my back. SHE IS MY WIFE! My wife! You stood by my side and you watched us take our vows and then you slept with her! How could you do that to me? What have I ever done to you that was so horrible! What? What did I do to you? Was it that bad? Because Mark-I can't think of anything!" Derek was fuming and it intimidated Mark.

Probably for the first time in their long friendship.

"Derek I—I…" Mark started.

"Save it Mark I do not care anymore. What's done is done and there is no going back. Do you want to know why I am willing to give Addison a second chance and not you?" Derek asked.

"Because I can look back at my life with her and honestly say that if I had known she would break my heart I would still put that ring on her finger that day but I look around this room and remember how close we were and I can't say that same thing about you. I do not know if I would still be your friend if I knew what you would do to me."

Mark knew he had it coming. He knew deep down that that was what he deserved from Derek. It did not make it hurt any less because he had and still considered Derek a friend.

The pain cut so deep that he had to find a way to make Derek feel it too even if he had no right to do it. And there was only one thing that came to mind to accomplish or better yet, one person.

"What about your girlfriend? Where does she factor in with all of this?" Mark asked with a smug smile.

Derek stared at Mark in the eye.

"You want the God's honest truth? I like her. I really do. She is nice and not too bad to look at and even after all the shit I have put her through she would still believe me if I told her I can walk on water… being with Meredith is not complicated." He took in a deep breath. "But I don't love her and she will never come close to my wife." Derek chuckled as memory came back to him.

"The first thing Addison said to me about Meredith was that she could tell I was going for the Anti-Addison and even after all the shit we have been through, she was right which is why I will always pick Addison. I love her."

Derek sighed and finished his journey to the door but before he left he looked over at Mark one last time.

"If what you say is true or if you ever cared about me as a friend then please respect my marriage. I love my wife and you need to respect that our marriage means something, the fact that she did not come here with you shows that. Just leave us alone please."

With that he closed the door and walked out leaving Mark to take in all that had just happened. It did not make it his guilt feel any better nor did he feel anything had been resolved. It just made him realize it never would be. He had slept with Derek's wife and that had been the end of their friendship. There was no going back and no trying to make things up to his friend.

It was just going to end.

He inhaled through his nose and let the breath out through his mouth… there was no getting back to sleep now.

~x~

Derek sighed again as he leaned against the elevator wall. That was one of the hardest things he had ever had to do in his life and he had never been filled with so many mixed emotions before but he gained clarity and closure on a few things in his life.

Derek knew that that was the official end to an almost thirty year friendship.

A friendship that he had once viewed as rock solid. A friendship that he had held so dear to his heart and he had shared so many things with that one person but it was over now. Mark stopped being his friend the moment he opened that bedroom door but today it was closure on a chapter of his life and one step closer to the fresh start he had wanted in Seattle.

But more than anything Derek was relieved that his wife still believed in their marriage as well. She had not followed Mark back to New York like he had thought. She did not repeat the mistake she had made and it had cleared up a few other things in his mind. Things that had not been voiced but always bothered him.

Things like… how did Addison really feel about Mark? Did she love him? And if she did, how much and what kind of love was it? Was it like what they had or something more or less? Did she miss Mark? Would she rather be with Mark?

And Mark's visit and her refusal to give into his requests showed Derek that she wouldn't rather be anywhere but in Seattle with him working on their marriage. She did not love Mark and she did not miss him at least not enough to leave Derek.

And as Derek made his way back to the airport he had a renewed outlook on so many things in his life that he could not help but smile.

* * *

End of Chapter 4.

Please Review.


	5. Chapter 5

Not a Consolation Prize

Chapter 5

* * *

It took him a lot longer than he had thought it would to get back to Seattle Grace Hospital.

Security had been hard to get through then his plane had been grounded for an additional two hours due to some mechanical malfunction. That was not the best news he could have heard considering how much a white knuckle passenger he was.

But it gave him some much needed time to think about his life. He sat there thinking all about the past year of his life. He thought about all of the things that had happened to him.

Derek had gotten closure from his conversation with Mark at least as much closure as was possible. He had left so many things behind when he had fled New York that horrible night including the answers to the questions he had had or the chance to say anything he had wanted to say.

But now he had said the things he needed to. For the past few months his heart had been so heavy and he had not even really known it. There was a weight on his shoulders that sometimes made it hard to function. But it did not feel as heavy now. Telling Mark that not only had he been hurt by his wife's actions but also by what Mark had done felt really freeing.

He could put Mark in his past now. Now that he had told his side of the story and Mark knew where they stood, Derek could let it go.

Derek not only thought about Mark but also about the other things that were causing him trouble.

He thought a lot about Meredith.

He had meant what he had said when he told Mark that he cared for her.

He did.

Derek thought about her more than he should and he flirted with her. Derek knew that he had not really broken up with Meredith. Technically, they were no longer a couple but there was still an emotional attachment there and he had told Addison he loved her.

But Derek could not deny the fact that when he looked into the future he saw a redhead next to him and not a blond. Derek wanted to look at a little girl with auburn hair or a boy with green eyes and Addison's smile. He wanted to look up in the gallery and see Addison admiring him. Derek wanted to wake up and feel her next to him. He wanted to know that it was his ring she wore.

It was Addison he wanted to share his life with. No one else and that was why it had freaked him out so much when he had thought she had gone back to Mark.

Derek sat in the airport knowing that it was time to tell her all of the things he had known but was either to stupid or stubborn to acknowledge.

He loved Addison. He was in love with her in a crazy way that made it possible for them to work things out.

~x~

As he burst through the automatic doors of SGH, he was practically out of breath but with a bright smile on his lips. Derek ran over to the nurse's counter where Richard stood with Burke looking over a file.

Both looked up as he slapped the counter with his hands, and breathed heavily. Richard's face took on an instant look of fury and relief while Burke stood stoic as always.

"Shepherd?" Richard started. "Where the hell have you been! It has been crazy around here! You had surgeries—"

"Where is my wife?" Derek demanded before his Chief could start off on a rant.

"What?" Richard repeated. "How… I mean… what?"

Derek smiled as he directed his attention to Burke who was watching the whole exchange with amusement.

"Do you know where she is?" He asked once more. Even though he had not checked the trailer or the bar across the street he knew she was here. Derek knew it.

"Um, she is upstairs with a few interns and Bailey. Are you okay, Shepherd?" Burke asked cautiously.

Derek smiled with certainty in his voice. "I have never been better."

He left both men standing at the counter with priceless expressions on their faces. Richard looked beyond words while Burke could not help suppress the genuine smile from crossing his lips.

With a renewed energy Derek bounded up the stairs to the second floor of the hospital. The excitement raced through his veins as he got closer and closer to his ultimate destination, his wife.

Searching through the halls frantically, he tried to come up with what he was going to say to Addison. He wondered where he should possibly start when he explained what he had gone through in the last day. All of the little nasty thoughts that he pushed to the back of his mind had demanded to be dealt with.

Derek wondered if he should start with an apology or a declaration of love. He thought that maybe he should go into a confession of his mistakes with their marriage starting with his emotional absence to his stupidity when it came to a certain intern.

As the thoughts went through his mind, Derek continued to search for his wife. The people he ran by gave him odd looks that he could not care less about. His heart was pounding wildly in his chest as well as his ear when he rounded a corner and saw her.

He stopped dead in his tracks as he took in the sight before him. With her back to him, and her lab coat covering her navy scrubs, she had her hair swept up in slightly messy bun.

Addison was standing next to Bailey as they both explained something to a group of interns that consisted of Yang, Karev, and of course Meredith, but for the first time since he had arrived in Seattle, the young blonde made not even a blip on his radar.

He only had eyes for a redhead.

Once Yang noticed the missing neurosurgeon standing in the hallway, she nudged Alex sharply in the ribs with her elbow to earn his attention. But before he could supply her with a nasty remark he followed her eyes and his mouth went slack for a moment and only a moment later Meredith noticed too.

The shocked expressions did not go unnoticed by the two superiors as both ladies turned to see what had caught the interns' attention.

Derek felt his breath tighten in his chest as he waited for Addison to turn around and lock eyes with him. When her green eyes met his icy blue ones he could only whisper one word.

"Addie."

* * *

End of Chapter 5.

Please Review.


	6. Chapter 6

Not a Consolation Prize

Chapter 6

* * *

His heart was in his throat and tears of exhaustion, anxiety, and happiness stung at the corners of Derek's eyes as he stared straight at his wife of almost twelve years.

It was unexplainable those first few seconds after his search had ended.

The world around him seemed to stop, the noise of a busy hospital was silent, and nothing seemed to exist besides him and her. It was that moment that confirmed everything he had ever known since first falling in love with her. Addison Forbes was the only woman that had ever been able to make him feel a thousand feelings at once but still feel at peace with the world.

Addison stared back at him with equal intensity, he knew she had been worried about him.

That look in those blue-green eyes only took on that look of distraction in the hospital when she was concerned about how he was doing, if he was all right. But beyond the concern for him that was in her eyes was the overwhelming, almost all-consuming love they shared.

It took Derek only a few seconds to erase the remaining distance between them as he strode toward the group with a purpose.

When she was within an arms length Derek scooped her up in his embrace and attacked her lips in a heated, loving, passionate kiss. He barely registered the sounds of a chart dropping from her hands and a few gasps from the background of on lookers.

Derek felt the tingling sensation of her hands in his hair as she returned the kiss with everything in her. He let one hand travel up her back towards her shoulders as he brought her closer to him. It wasn't enough, she wasn't close enough to him but she sensed his thoughts as she took control.

Addison slipped her tongue inside of his mouth and sucked gently. Derek smiled against her mouth as they both dueled for complete control of the kiss but both knowing neither would give it up.

After a few more moments they both had to pull back to breath but as the kiss slowed down and Addison pulled away, he only let her get so far. Derek put his forehead on hers as he slowly opened his eyes.

They stared at one another and he left nothing hidden. Derek let all of the emotions he had been feeling the past few months out in the open for Addison to witness. The good, and bad, the hurt, anger and longing, and most of all the love he had for her.

As he tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear he brushed his thumb over her soft skin.

"I love you," Derek whispered.

She smiled softly but concern took over her gaze once more, "Where have you been? I was so scared… you didn't call… you just…"

"I was looking for you. You didn't come home last night, I got so scared," Derek said as his throat tightened and tears threatened to fall.

"About what," Addison whispered.

"I though you had given up on me, on us, I thought you had gone back home to New York with Mark, I thought I had lost you for good, " Derek whispered as he continued to lovingly caress her cheek with his thumb.

Addison did the unexpected and let out a soft laugh, "So you what flew to New York after me?"

Derek nodded and it only widened Addison's smile. "You flew to New York for me?"

"Well… yeah." Derek let out a shaky breath, "Addie, I have been so stupid, such a jerk but I am not letting you get away again. I meant what I said when I promised you forever, it just took me a while to see it."

"Derek, I don't know what to say, I—"

"Don't say anything… not right now."

They both smiled as Addison nodded and embraced him tighter. She buried her face in his neck as he wrapped both strong arms around her and closed his eyes. They rocked back and forth slightly just enjoying finally being on the same page at the same time after so much conflict.

Behind them a group of people looked at the married couple with a variation of expressions on their faces.

Some found it romantic, and overdue like Izzie and a certain Nazi. Some found it overdue, obvious, and in the way of their medical training like Alex and Christina… while one lone blonde found it hurtful, harsh, overdue, inevitable, and heart breaking.

But none of that mattered to the couple that was the focus of their attention. It was the moment in time when they could start to actually rebuild their life together, as a couple.

Derek and Addison both had what they had both wanted deep down all along. At times one or both had tried to overlook their feelings, deny the connection they still had and had let all of the negative emotions overtake their relationship.

That was all over now, it was time for the future. No more tears, and no more anger or doubt. Derek finally knew she would not be anywhere else than in his arms and now Addison knew she was not a consolation prize.

* * *

The End.

Please Review.


End file.
